Relationships

Food for the Single Soul

If you’re a single woman, you may be regarded as lonely or as missing something, even the best out of life. However, despite your single relationship status and the subtle disdain by a society that views singleness as the plague, you are whole and not awaiting your better half, you are the whole person that God made you and no one betters you. Don’t allow society, age, or any other pressure to rush you into marriage as if it is a mission in life that all women are to attain or be able to check off of their list or to consider themselves as having arrived once they’re wed. The truth is, women have value whether they’re wearing a ring or doing their own thing. So single women would do well to remain single until God sends them one of His children because the Devil has children too, and his children are men after his own evil heart which means that they are not for you literally and figuratively.

Throughout the year, but especially during the holiday season, family and friends that you haven’t seen in a while, mostly with good intentions might ask, “So, when are you getting married?”, and then wait patiently for your answer. Don’t be blindsided. Always have an answer.

Here’s some gracious responses and switch questions:

  1. “I’m trusting God’s timing. What’s new with you?”
  2. “Any day now. What’s one goal you’ve set for next year?”
  3. “Not sure, but I’ll be sure to update you. How did you know that (insert their spouse’s name) was the one for you?”

If you don’t want them to ever ask you that question again (lol) use one of these responses:

  1. “I’m (insert you age), single, and I [really] don’t care!”
  2. “You know, marriage isn’t for everybody.”
  3. “I’m doing so well all by myself, that I haven’t given it real consideration.”

If a relationship is your heart’s desire, understand that God will not withhold any good thing from you. He is a good God who knows how to give good gifts to His children, better than any earthly father ever could, that’s for sure. While He will not withhold any good thing from you, including the good thing that is a husband, that does not mean that He will not allow that thing you desire to be delayed, to await perhaps His or your necessary preparedness and the perfect timing for the presentation of your perfect for you gift, into your life. Adding another person into your life comes with more than just having and holding, and for this, one has to be ready and willing and capable of managing and committing to all that comes with a God given relationship. Though your meeting with your one day husband is delayed, wait for him, because God will make your wait worth your while if you trust Him with all matters especially matters of your heart.  While desiring the temporary pleasures of marriage and family, desire more fully the eternal love that exists between you, your Maker and your Savior. That’s the type of love, dear single, that never grows old.

Today, I encourage you to spend your single days, your free, undivided time being devoted to the work God has prepared for you. What can you do for Jesus today as a single, that you would not be able to do the same if you were married?

Reader’s Note: I alluded to the book by Juliette Bush, “I’m 30, I’m Single, and I Don’t Care!” in the response above: “I’m (insert you age), single, and I [really] don’t care!”

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The Call to Purity

white-rose-478243_640The Call to Purity is not merely a call to maintaining our bodies until marriage or salvaging what remains of it if we have already given ourselves away to someone other than our future husband; the bigger, more resounding call to honor a loving, caring father that intends to protect our bodies and our hearts. See, the world uses protection to safeguard against pregnancy and diseases, but above that our loving, caring Father in heaven, protects our hearts, and there is no pill for that, no pill that can repair the damage done when you receive word from your doctor that you have a sexually transmitted disease (STD), no pill that can heal a broken heart after unfaithfulness, no pill that will cure any sense of regret for not saving yourself for your one day husband. God’s love, care and concern is not just for you, but also for your future mate; He tells us in Hebrews 13:4 to keep the marriage bed undefiled.

Purity is not something we arrive at naturally in part because of our own fleshly desires, lack of the fruit of of the Holy Spirit to exercise self-control, and also because of outside influences. Society does not consider waiting to be a normal practice or even an option. It may feel good now, but there are consequences for our decisions that we have to endure later. Just because we serve a forgiving God doesn’t mean we do not face the consequences of our actions and our reckless or risky behaviors. According to Oswald Chambers, purity is something far too deep for me to arrive at naturally. But when the Holy Spirit comes into me, He brings into the center of my personal life the very Spirit that was exhibited in the life of Jesus Christ, namely, the Holy Spirit, which is absolute unblemished purity. Therefore, we just need to admit that we cannot do it alone, we must rely on the Holy Spirit to enable and empower us. How will you answer the call to purity?

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